Warning: This post is extremely vague, angsty, whiney whatever. And for the record I know there are people in worse off situations, I’m not looking to say my problems are as bad as them or whatever. But they are pretty fucking knee deep bad again and this is my life afterall. I’m not really looking for feedback but if you feel so, leave a comment. I just merely need to vent my frustration before I lose my mind.

Just when you think things become really okay and that it might all workout in the end, a fucking bump in the road comes along. I know it always happens, I always expect it. But just when I thought I’d accepted it, I haven’t and seriously enough is enough! I am fucking sick and tired of drama. Sick and tired of never feeling safe and like I can’t live my life because of how someone else’s has basically shaped my entire past. I’m pissed off and hurt. I’m turning 20 years old next month and this year I have been hit a lot with feeling like I haven’t done shit with my life but basically survive the cards delt. There are so many people around me graduating, leaving home, moving on, mostly younger than me, and to that I decided that this summer I really wanted to change things and get a car, go back to school, possibly find a decent job and so on. Instead of just being here and ‘wasting’. I know people say you can’t change your past but you can change the future, and while that might also be true, is it worth losing sacrificing your friends and family to make a selfish decision and leave? Because that’s what I’d be doing. I don’t know what I’m going to do or what will happen, but one way or the other I feel something drastic is about to change in my life (again) and ultimately shape the next few years.